Momentum of the Muse

This may be the laziest post I’ve ever written, but I like quotes, so it’s happening anyways. Sometimes when I need a jolt, or *cough* procrastinating on my nanowrimo *cough*, I browse around through them. Sop, today I saved a couple and figured I’d share.

• Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very;” your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be -Mark Twain
• If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster. -Isaac Asimov
• I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -English Professor (Name Unknown), Ohio University
• No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. -Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, 1907
• I’d rather be caught holding up a bank than stealing so much as a two-word phrase from another writer. -Jack Smith
• If I had to give young writers advice, I would say don’t listen to writers talking about writing or themselves. -Lillian Hellman

And, saving the best for last – ahem.

What is writing? Is it the bird in the hand? Is an idle brain the devil’s workshop? DOES the second mouse get the cheese? No one can really define for certain that sublime display of power/fireworks/gourmet word cookery as the chisel hits the tablet, the pen hits the page, the chalk hits the board, and the fingers bash away at the hot chocolate encrusted keyboard. Is it endless spider solitaire, and mahjong? Is it knowing the darkest depths of the internet – religious sex toys and videos of people crying while eating various foods – and then playing free rice to improve your karma after horrifically discovering amputee porn? Is it dressing your pets up as rock stars, dancing around, playing “Welcome to the Jungle” for half an hour when you have a deadline? Is it becoming obsessed over a debate in a forum, tracking down the offensive dissenter, and making a voodoo hair doll after stealing their brush? Yes, my friends, that is the beauty of writing. – Erin Maher

Please include any gems in the comments section.