But I do feel guilty for not being accountable to myself. That’s the reason I started this blog in the first place. So, I am in the middle of re-structuring and re-focusing exactly what I’m going to talk about. I wanted to talk about writing, but I found myself falling into a rut of writing the same kinds of posts as what I was reading. It wasn’t as fresh or as personally interesting as I would like it. And a lot of it was about a type/way of writing that isn’t what I had initially set out to do.

So, I am likely to move over to more creative topics, but we’ll have to see. I’ve had a talk with a screenwriter who might want to guest post once a week. He’s never had a blog before and he wants to put his toes in the water without actually getting wet. But, I’m not 100% sure of what I want, so in the meantime, I think actually making posts, even if they are about rabbit mittens, is the key to accountability. To myself. Rambling into the abyss. Although, that was a useful post if you happen to have been considering installing google analytics, and wanted to be swayed by that little tidbit, knowing you can figure out what keywords lead people to your blog.

Being accountable to others isn’t something you can control all aspects of. Who knows what people want from you? How do you decide what they want, how to cater to them? You can change it only by targetting those others you surround yourself with, you aim to intrigue. Being accountable to yourself is more fluid.

I stopped posting my NaNoWriMo progress because I stopped writing on it. Eek. I wrote just over twenty thousand words, and promptly lost all motivation once I fell desperately behind. The funny thing is, on December 1st and 2nd I wrote over two thousand words each day. Once the pressure was off, I felt a lot more like writing. Even though I gave up, it was a good experience. I have never even attempted a novel, so by even attempting, I have already bested myself. I plan on trying it next year again, and I will keep on working on my current novel in my spare time.

Some things I will do differently next year:

• Write an outline beforehand. Or PERIOD. Not having an outline is confusing and frustrating, especially with this head, which I swear is made of a flock of seagulls that just met an unleashed golden retriever puppy. By that, I mean scatterbrained. In my one novel, I must have at least six seperate novels and styles.
• Decide on a daily goal of either word count or defined scene/chapter/thing within the outline. Telling yourself to be accountable in general is one thing, but going about it diligently, professionally, with purpose and intent is quite another thing. Laissez faire is no tactic in this business.
• Leave days for leeway. Everyone needs some room to stretch, to be busy, to breathe, to sleep in and do nothing all day because you accidentally finished a whole bottle of wine at a friend’s get-together the night before. Without guilt. Work hard, play hard, living life to the fullest despite NaNoWriMo.
• Do some research and legwork before hand. My story had several characters based on mythological characters, characters in traditional folklore but set in the modern day. Having some research and character sketches before hand would have saved me hours of bouncing around wikipedia, googling my head off, and interrupting the flow of my writing. I don’t know if I’ll do anything like this next year, but having the bulk of my research done beforehand will be a benefit regardless of subject.

Any fellow participants have input on what they did that worked this year, or what they will do differently next year?

Maybe it’s taking into account how well I’ve accomplished what I set out to do the last time I set goals. Maybe it’s making what seems like an insurmountable mountain of responsibilities, and then dreading accomplishing them. Maybe it’s how they sit like an evil monkey on your shoulder, picking your nose while you’re meeting with dignitaries and hot celebrities.

However, I find in the long run, whether I accomplish them or new ones I discover in the process, they remind me to remain active. I won’t wait until things just happen – I will make them happen.